Ciphered Holos

"I'll never take that path."

Aran didn't care that Kailest was somewhere nearby, watching. She could even not care that the night would assuredly get back to Krassk's ears right now, stripping off the jacket and folding it, setting it aside in favor of grabbing something - anything - else. And the saber... Her head turned, reaching for the hilt, fingers curling around it.

She felt the hum, the chaos. It'd once been a beacon of peace, calm, rememberance and that was worn away by the sing-song hum that now accompanied it. She turned the hilt over in her hand, digging digits into the facets of the crystal embedded in the hilt, before she turned, stalking back and setting the hilt down. Away.

The night had...gone.

Play the information and contract broker - that role had been easy. As promised she's secured The Hive to the Chiss' agenda for the upcoming Dheroveer problems, as rumors had begun building. As promised she'd reached out and chatted with Rax, Rax had agreed to drag Birdy along, and with Ark. She had a few more messages to send out, but she'd bring the collective of the shady underbelly together for a meeting and let the credits fall where they would. She'd even gone that step further and reached out to the other side of the fence for help, trying to get that crucial throw-in from the others.

She'd discussed getting Penumbra as well, but for that she'd need to get a message to Rexarn, and that was a barrel of trouble to consider doing. She'd still do it, approach them through Rex, but it'd be a song and a dance to find a good way.

There were soft noises in the Bucket, little sounds of life moving and ticking and shuffling. It'd been something she hadn't heard for a long time. It felt alien, strange in a way that set her on guard, watching her tongue again. Softly she muttered to herself, the Force working in unspoken frustration before she put her head in her hands, curling up.

Torlem hurt. She couldn't play him, didn't want to maybe was the better way of stating it. She'd spent too much time being too honest with the padawan to lie to him the way she could do with Sriia. Sriia she could nurse an anger against, but Torlem - he'd done nothing. Nothing but be an honest friend.

Her head turned, listening to see where Kailest was, checking to see how the Force told her the 'pilot' was moving. The talk with the Jedi had been as tense as she'd expected. "They're going to have a harder time trusting you, now."

No kark. She hadn't expected it to be a walk in the Senate gardens but she'd clung to the hope that a greater threat would give everyone a chance to set aside differences to knit up just long enough to take it down. They could fight later, be enemies later.

Illusions were precious things.

"How will you get away with picking and choosing?" Yes, Torlem was right - it was still war. Even a temporary alliance to face a threat like the Dheroveer would end and it'd be war. What was she supposed to say, tell him that she'd go after the people she'd bled for if she were ordered to? She knew she was expected to, but she was having enough problems stepping aside when it was merely a name and Force she knew - if one of her friends was opposing her Master... Aran paced, unable to wrench herself back to the calm again.

Ark had left her with illusions, letting them exist in favor of slowly wearing away and indulging. He'd threatened to remove the illusions but hadn't. He'd made her make choices but had left her with her friendships and views on them intact. Little whispers and sound arguments showing they were going to be transitory but breaking them hadn't been something he had opted to do. They'd break on their own.

So she'd started to let them go. And then she'd been confronted with how much she valued them. They made her pull up, stop, and try, damnably, to be better. To be worthy of them. In the end Ark was right - if she called someone a friend, a superior, the lengths she went to bordered on utterly insane. And now she had given Torlem a promise that'd be hard to keep.

"Why Sith, Book?"

Her head turned, running a hand raggedly through her hair before she pulled it down, pulling long strands back to re-tie the tail. When Torlem asked she didn't fob him off the way she'd fobbed off Akkai and Sriia, telling him 'it'd gotten complicated' because for some unknown reason she didn't want to lie to Torlem. So she'd made a promise instead, to tell him why. Everything, if he wanted, so at least someone would stop offering judgement without the full grounding of facts.

And then Torlem had turned back, returning to his Master, the Jedi, and friends - and she'd turned on her heels and stalked away. And she was left with a cold and almost horrifying realization that she wasn't going to get to keep her precious illusions because they were so obvious a weakness even she could see it. She'd fall into - at best - inaction. At worst? She let out a breath.

She still wasn't strong enough. The tie that'd been Krenthor's saber was shattered, twisted, changed - but she now stood facing a greater one. "...the Force shall free me," she murmured into the silence.

She'd tell Torlem the whole truth. When he wanted her to. In the meantime she picked up her datapad, tapping out a very short and very basic message, hitting 'send' on it before she could change her mind.

"My friendships compromise my resolve and conviction, Master. --Aran"